Now, Middle, Beginning, and End

I don't know where to start.  I sound like I'm in a therapist office.  The best place to begin would be the present, with flashbacks to the middle,  sometimes the beginning, then when we get to the end we'll know, right? 

     I could admit that my worst fear is getting this dreadful disease.  I've joked about having Alzheimers my whole life, because I'm bit of an absent minded professor<minus the professor part>.   Myself, loved ones, and I'm sure not so loved ones, have descibed me as somewhat ditzy, flighty, forgetful, spacey.  The names that come to mind are Captain of the Space Cadets, Airhead, Dumb Blonde< one reason for going red>, etc..  But after Dad suffered from Parkinson's Disease for at least 15 years and now Mom, I don't joke any more. 

     I remember sitting in the doctors' office with mom 6 1/2 years ago in February.  After seeing him that morning and taking a very expensive brain scan that insurance only covers after 6 months of diagnosed deteriorating symptoms, Dr. C had called after lunch and wanted me to bring her in to discuss the results.  Knowing what the diagnosis was already,  I pondered  the previous year -  We had taken her car keys away and had began to pick her up to go to church with us on Sunday mornings.  I did her weekly shopping and took her to weekly hair appointments.  I took her and My Uncle Bob( who lives next door) to lunch every day.  My Father had passed from his long struggle with PD in July.                                                               About every 20 minutes or so, I could hear Dr. C walk up to the door, get the folder out, pause. and then walk away.  I knew he dreaded telling us the news.  He had been our family doctor since the girls were in their single digits, and Mom and Dad's since they moved to Oklahoma from Texas ( so I could help Mom with Dad's illness).  Finally after all the other patients were gone, and hearing the same routine at the door, he came in.  He knew that I knew what was about to be spoken out loud.  After all the questions and information,  Mom ask him if she could hug him.  She knew it was probably as bad a day for him as it was for us.