Snowball

The snowball is picking up speed downhill and getting bigger now. I remember last October thinking Mom might not make it til Christmas. She recovered somewhat from the frequent TIAs and what I believe to be small strokes from her high blood pressure. Then, I thought she might not celebrate her 83rd birthday in April, because she began having difficulty swallowing and was getting choked on food and even water. Looking back, now, I can see how much more she has deteriorated since. No longer able to walk, stand, or even balance by herself, speaking only a few words a day, her bodily functions are shutting down, and can't even swallow her meds. She has no appetite; not even thirsty. I feel the time is close. Maybe a few weeks, but not more than a couple of months...only God knows. Am I ready - no. Do I want her to drag out like this for a long time - no. I know she feels like her dignity is gone(I would). What is the right way to pray? "God please take her now?" Is that a selfish or selfless prayer? I only know what I would want in that situation, and what she has told me in many discussions through the years while watching and caring for my father during his long, painful journey with Parkinson's Disease. I'll just say, "God, have mercy"